August Was Hot. The Movies Were Not.

In Placer County, we have lonnnng summers. We’ll get summerlike weather from June all the way up until around Halloween, albeit punctuated with some rain and thunder and lightning in the last couple of months. Right now we keep getting rain and lightning in the morning, and muggy and hot in the afternoon. At least it’s not 105 degrees anymore.

So yeah, unfortunately, the movies were pretty blah this month. Well, in most respects. When they were good, they were very, very good, and when they were bad they were horrid. Yes, I’m looking at you, Honey Don’t! and The Dark Side of the Moon.

Also, secrets were a thing. Maybe that’s why I felt so blah about last month. Too many secrets make one’s brain melt like ice cream in Tucson.

Naturally, when it came to this list I had to cobble things together, from Bad But Still Watchable to Surprisingly Decent. It wasn’t too tough; the list basically wrote itself. So, without further ado (click the images for the reviews, of course)…

The War of the Worlds

Will’s job is to spy on people. Let’s be honest. He knows what’s in his pregnant daughter’s fridge and what kind of muffin she bought at Starbucks. Yeah, it’s that kind of spying, and it’s creepy.

When aliens land, suddenly Will has to figure out how to save the world and his family from behind his computer screen. Yeah, it’s that kind of movie. Lots of selfies. Lots of virtual scrambling.

Oh, and did I mention that Will’s daughter’s boyfriend is an Amazon Prime driver? Whenever this guy is on the screen the Amazon smile is prominently displayed, and no matter what happens, the guy keeps delivering packages. An Amazon drone and the Amazon ordering process figure prominently in the movie’s climax. Groan.

I’m surprised this one is on the list, well, maybe not so much, because it’s tosh of the It Could Be Worse variety. On the other hand, though, it’s firmly in the Not On My Bingo card territory, because who expects the big hero of a story to be a Prime delivery driver and his trusty steed to be an Amazon drone?

The Map That Leads To You

Heather is on vacation in Europe with her friends before her high=finance corporate job starts. Of course they meet guys, and in Heather’s case it’s a New Zealander named Jack, who first spies her from a luggage rack on a train and then finds her at a club. Yeah, not at all stalker-y and not at all trying too hard to be cute.

It doesn’t take long for Heather and her friends to go off on their own with their respective guys, and in Heather and Jack’s case, it means using Jack’s grandpa’s journal as a guide to all the places they want to see. Money isn’t a problem, but we don’t know why it’s a problem.

Then Jack ditches Heather at the airport right before they’re supposed to fly to New York. He’s got a secret, of course. Heather tries and fails to move on, of course.

Sigh. It’s a romance. It’s predictable, pedestrian, and in the end, an almost a point-for-point clone of My Oxford Year. At least the scenery’s pretty.

My Oxford Year

Anna goes to Oxford to get her master’s degree in literature before starting her big-time corporate job, and she meets Jamie. First he accidentally splashes Anna as he speeds by in his snazzy vintage car. Then he and Anna meet in a chip shop while Jamie hides from an ex. Then he turns out to be Anna’s TA at Oxford. Whew.

Things slip along dreamily, and then Anna walks into Jamie’s apartment to find him in bed with an IV stuck in his arm. He’s got a secret that he failed to tell Anna about–terminal cancer. Jamie yells at Anna to get out of his room. Anna spends the next couple of hours commiserating with Celia, Jamie’s late brother Eddie’s girlfriend.

Lots of good moments here. Lots of geeking out over Oxford and scholarly poetry recitations. Lots of tonal whiplash, tempered only by good performances.

And what is up with people in romance movies suddenly revealing that they have cancer? Sure, it’s a serious story turn, but it loses its punch after a while. Like, a lot.

Kpop Demon Hunters

Mira, Rumi, and Zoey are Huntr/x, Kpop sensations and demon hunters. They seem to be at the top of their game, but Rumi has a secret. Because of course she does. She’s half demon.

Blowing into the fray is godlike boy band Saja Boys, who get everyone talkiing and goggling. Everyone, including Huntr/x.

However, they’ve got secrets, too. Well, at least one of them does. Jinu used to be human, was turned into a demon, and wants to be human again. He and Rumi bond in their own trauma-damaged way, but of course the inevitable showdown looms and their near romance might be doomed.

Simply put: The music in this movie is awesome. Kpop music has never been nominated for an Oscar, but this movie might be a good place to start.

Weapons

When Justine’s third graders all disappear simultaneously from their homes at two in the morning, naturally Justine is the prime suspect. She’s put on administrative leave and spends her time drinking vodka from a bottle in a paper bag and watching the house where her last student lives. There’s something weird about that house, but we don’t know what.

The story is told from multiple points of view, and as the movie goes on the pieces fall into place. I would say more, but I really don’t want to spoil it. Suffice it to say, it’s immensely entertaining, albeit a bit gory and shocking.

Weapons is director Zach Cregger’s second feature film, and it’s safe to say he’s avoided the infamous Sophomore Slump.

---

All right, we have a new Julia Child post coming up a week from today. Have a great week, all, and I hope to see you then…

---

If you’re enjoying what you see on Taking Up Room, please subscribe to my Substack page, where you’ll find both free and paid subscriber-only reviews of mostly new and newish movies, documentaries, and shows. I publish every Wednesday and Saturday. You can also subscribe to my Club 15 Tier, which gives you at least one extra Taking Up Room post every month for a small fee.