We’ve kind of had a dearth of horror movies this year, haven’t we? Well, at least here on the blog, but Substack has a few, including a review of the new Five Nights At Freddy’s movie, although that’s not much of a horror movie. Other than that, things have been really skimpy in that regard.
Unfortunately, the needle isn’t going to move too far today, because we’re talking about 1967’s Hillbillys In A Haunted House. Ever heard of this one? No? That’s more than understandable.
Yep, we’re just gonna jump in. *Insert sheepish flinch here*
The movie opens with country singers Woody Wetherby (Ferlin Husky) and Boots Malone (Joi Lansing), along with their manager, Jeepers (Don Bowman) sitting nervously in the backseat while Woody and Boots sing merrily about how they’re on their way to Nashville for the Country Jamboree. Poor Jeepers is stressed because he’s been working so hard getting the Jamboree booked up, and he’s so exhausted he barely notices or ducks when he, Boots, and Woody find themselves right in the middle of a shoot-out between some state troopers and two apparent gangsters with very clean Blues Brothers-esque suits.
Our group finds themselves in a teeny little town called Sleepy Junction. Well, it’s not so much of a town as an autoshop, whose owner tells them there aren’t any hotels or motels around, but if they want to stay at the old Beauregard place it’s just up the road.
It’s not until Boots, Woody, and Jeepers are already off that the guy remembers the old Beauregard place is haunted. Well, dangit, that would have been helpful to know, right?
Our three get to the mansion, which bears a remarkable resemblance to Tara in the carpetbagging era, and try to settle in. Well, Jeepers is as jumpy as a cat until Woody plays a song for him on his guitar, and after that Jeepers is snoozing like a baby.
Speaking of cats, who should come knocking on the door but Sonny James and His Southern Gentlemen? Funny thing–they live across the way and figure anyone who plays guitar must be all right, because ghosts don’t play guitar and they’ve also heard the Beauregard place is haunted. Oh, and Sonny and His Gentlemen play a couple of their own songs, including their hit, “The Cat Came Back.” It’s all very cozy until a skeleton rattles out from behind a painting and scares them off.
Meanwhile, down in the basement, Maximillian (Lon Chaney, Jr.) is playfully sparring with his pet gorilla, Anatole (George Barrows) while Gregor (Basil Rathbone), Dr. Himmel (John Carradine) and Madame Wong (Linda Ho) plot and plan whatever they’re plotting and planning. We don’t know because it’s all very vague, except that they’re planning on stealing some formula or other.
The rest of the plot is unavoidably vague as well, beyond some poking around the mansion and Woody and Boots trying to catch forty winks in the living room while a restless Jeepers watches a country music showcase on his portable TV. Yep. There’s a lot of country music in this thing. A whole lot.
It. Never. Ends.
And oh yeah, let’s not forget what’s apparently a plot to take over the world by our four mysterious basement-dwellers, who aren’t happy that three intruders came upon them and their little scheme. Maximillian just might have to put Boots in the Iron Maiden. Other than that, nothing can stop them, or so they think. Now if only Gregor would stop eating marshmallows in front of Anatole’s cage…
The best thing about Hillbillys In A Haunted House is the music. By far. We could have done without the other stuff and just focused on that. Heck, this movie could have been the country music equivalent of one of Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney’s old barnyard musicals, except there’s a haunted house instead of a barn. But nope, we gotta shoehorn Pinky and the Brain in there and hope things get at least slightly chilly.
As bad as it is, Hillbillys is kind of a sad film, because it doesn’t give its three horror greats anything to do except glower at everyone else and mug for the camera. Besides them, with the exception of Joi Lansing, none of its actors had any careers to speak of, not to mention it was Basil Rathbone’s final screen credit, as he would pass away that same year. Joi Lansing and Lon Chaney, Jr. would both pass away in 1973.
The film is, believe it or not, a sequel to the 1966 stinker, Las Vegas Hillbillys, which also featured Ferlin Husky as Woody and Don Bowman as Jeepers. It was heavily laced with country music, and sported Jayne Mansfield as its main draw. The biggest difference was that Boots was played by Mamie Van Doren and it featured a biker gang like a certain surfer franchise we all remember. Oh, and Woody inherits a casino for some reason.
None of that has any bearing on Haunted House, which, like its predecessor, was produced by the fledgling Woolner Bros. Productions, a studio that mostly made B-movies such as Swamp Women and Hercules and the Captive Women.
Woolner initially seemed promising, as they managed to attract top talent, but unfortunately the public didn’t agree. Hillbillys In A Haunted House made an embarrassing half million dollars at the box office and Woolner Bros. made its last film two years later. They can’t be faulted for their optimism, though, as one of the few bits of publicity related to the film stated that the sequel to Haunted House was to be Hillybillys In Outer Space. It is an immeasurable loss to the film world that we never got to see Woody and the gang go interstellar. 😉
My entry for the Familyathon is coming up tomorrow. Thanks for reading, all, and I hope to see you then…
Hillbillys In A Haunted House is available on DVD and is free to stream for Prime customers. A RiffTrax edition can also be seen on YouTube.
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